Laundromats and othe people's children

[EMode]

Well she herself has made many comments on this thread along the lines of - oh well I can't make them behave - and never mentioned that she tries at all to discipline or occupy them so they do not bother other patrons at the laundromat!

And I'll address the last line of your post! Never claimed my children (or I) were perfect. I did say that when they were misbehaving I did try to discipline them - and if that failed to work I removed them from the situation (be it store, restaurant etc) so as not to bother others.

But I'm sure there were times where you made mistakes or the wrong decisions in regards to your children and their discipline. I think you are being way too judgmental based on a few things that poster said (or what she didn't say that she does), and I'm sure we all could do the same based on things you have said/done.
Nobody is perfect and unless you are following that poster around 24/7 and have intimate details about the way she raises her family your comment about being lazy is just an assumption and just plain rude.
And your posts in this thread come off holier than thou.

 

[Laura66]

But I'm sure there were times where you made mistakes or the wrong decisions in regards to your children and their discipline. I think you are being way too judgmental based on a few things that poster said (or what she didn't say that she does), and I'm sure we all could do the same based on things you have said/done.
Nobody is perfect and unless you are following that poster around 24/7 and have intimate details about the way she raises her family your comment about being lazy is just an assumption and just plain rude.
And your posts in this thread come off holier than thou.

I'm not the only poster who called her out and I stand by what I said. I have no problem with you disagreeing with me or your opinion of me.

Fact is the poster we are talking about posted on a message board basically saying too bad if my kids are misbehaving and bothering those around them. When you do that you are opening yourself up to differing opinions and observations!

 

[MSLRAC]

I'm not the only poster who called her out and I stand by what I said. I have no problem with you disagreeing with me or your opinion of me.

Fact is the poster we are talking about posted on a message board basically saying too bad if my kids are misbehaving and bothering those around them. When you do that you are opening yourself up to differing opinions and observations!

No parent is perfect, I don't care who you are but it's the attitude that many parents have that they "can't" control their kids or expect them to behave or they "have to" let them run around and misbehave that I have the problem with. Yes, you can control them and yes, you can expect them to behave and no, you do not have to allow them to misbehave. You are the parent. You are in charge. It might not be fun and it might not be easy but it needs to be done. Parents need to parent and use discipline when appropriate.

 

[Mkrop]

No parent is perfect, I don't care who you are but it's the attitude that many parents have that they "can't" control their kids or expect them to behave or they "have to" let them run around and misbehave that I have the problem with. Yes, you can control them and yes, you can expect them to behave and no, you do not have to allow them to misbehave. You are the parent. You are in charge. It might not be fun and it might not be easy but it needs to be done. Parents need to parent and use discipline when appropriate.

Yes and that PP opened herself up to observations and opinions when she said herself that she could not control her kids most of the time at the laundromat. I get it some days kids are not having good days and push every button we have and no matter what we do, or what tricks we pull out of our bag, they dont work. (although she admitted to bringing A book...I mean really) If this is everytime you go then you the parent are doing something wrong. If it is that odd day when it seems like there is a full moon and your child is possessed then you need to leave if they are bothering others. If you are lucky to be there by yourself, no worries. But if there are others there and your kids are misbehaving and causing issue for others, I dont care what the cost or if I had to wash clothes by hand in the tub, I would take my kids out of there. I never had to leave the laundromat, only had to go there for a short time, like a couple of weeks, but I have left church, restaurants and stores when my child/ren were acting badly.

I am not the perfect parent, nor did my kids always know what the proper behavior was for the setting we were in, and many days it was just a bad day and no super duper parenting methods were going to work. But you can still parent...you leave plain and simple.

 

[njmom47]

I had to use a laundromat.
While pregnant.
My washer was broken but my dryer worked, so I lugged all that heavy wet clothing back to my house, carried it to the bathroom (where the washer and dryer were), and dried my stuff at my leisure. (yeah, I was married to a real caring guy at that time....).
I also had to use one when I was a single mom, but thankfully my younger dd was plopped in the car seat, and she was fine with that. I did have my hands full with dd#1 though.
Eight should be old enough to know how to behave in public.

 

[luvsJack]

Good grief people! (not you OP, 8 is old enough to know better)

The pp goes to wash her clothes. Its a task she has to stay there and complete, she cannot leave because a kid gets hungry or tired or starts acting out.

Maybe she has them sitting with a few toys and she turns to take the clothes out of the washer and put them in the dryer and they start fighting over a toy! OR suddenly one grabs a toy from the other and they start chasing each other. Or any one of a billion other scenarios that can happen and do happen every day with young children.

Your kids are not perfect, you are not a perfect parent. She just happens to have the gumption to admit it. Jeesh.

Maybe she does punish them or get on to them or settle them down again. That doesn't mean it won't happen again. 2 hours is a lot of time to be stuck in a boring laundrymat even with some toys and such. They are going to do something in that amount of time, at least once, that may be seen as "bothering others".

 

[crazyme5kids]

OP, why didn't you just push the cart under the folding table? Even if you had some clothes in it, you push it under to get it out of the isle so that it isn't in the way of other people pushing a cart to a machine they need to load.

As bad as a kid running around might be, I find it just as annoying when carts are left in the isle, especially if it is narrow the way you have said it is.

 

[jodifla]

So it's a fairly large laundromat, but also fairly crowded. I am loading my freshly washed laundry into the dryers. The aisle between the dryers and the folding table is somewhat narrow.


A boy runs down the aisle and bbumps into my laundry cart. He's about 8 years old. A moment later he runs by me again.

The third time he came down the aisle he had no choice but to stop running- unless he wanted to wind up in my laundry cart.

He stopped running down that aisle.

Yes it was a bit passive aggressive. But his mother was standing two feet away from me and never bothered to tell him that this is the laundromat not the playground.

This qualifies as a big deal to you? An 8-year-old boy running around in a laundromat?

Geez louise. I'd like all these "my kids never did THAT" to look w-a-y back into their own childhoods.

 

[Hannathy]

This qualifies as a big deal to you? An 8-year-old boy running around in a laundromat?

Geez louise. I'd like all these "my kids never did THAT" to look w-a-y back into their own childhoods.

An 8 yr old running inside a business is totally unacceptable. at 8 he is expected to be able to play on sports teams and know the rules I think he can handle being civilized inside.

As far as thinking back to our childhoods, I can tell you what would have happened if we or any of my friends had acted like that in a laundromat or any other business and it would be totally un PC today, probably involving several swift hands ( if not another implement!) to or behinds and a very unpleasant time at home!

 

[jodifla]

An 8 yr old running inside a business is totally unacceptable. at 8 he is expected to be able to play on sports teams and know the rules I think he can handle being civilized inside.

As far as thinking back to our childhoods, I can tell you what would have happened if we or any of my friends had acted like that in a laundromat or any other business and it would be totally un PC today, probably involving several swift hands ( if not another implement!) to or behinds and a very unpleasant time at home!

It's a bored kid in a laundromat. And it ain't the Ritz. It's likely a big, stuffy room with a concrete floor and cheap wood paneling.

I would have been more likely to tag him when he ran by and say, "You're it!" Then I could have had some fun if I were trapped in a laundromat for hours.

 

[luvsJack]

It's a bored kid in a laundromat. And it ain't the Ritz. It's likely a big, stuffy room with a concrete floor and cheap wood paneling.

I would have been more likely to tag him when he ran by and say, "You're it!" Then I could have had some fun if I were trapped in a laundromat for hours.

So nice to know there are still some unstuffy, non-perfect parents and kids still left around here!!

Laundromats have to be the most boring places on the planet earth! I feel for any kid that has to hang around them.

 

[Laura66]

So nice to know there are still some unstuffy, non-perfect parents and kids still left around here!!

Laundromats have to be the most boring places on the planet earth! I feel for any kid that has to hang around them.

And I find it sad that there are so many rude parents that don't care or try to manage children that are clearly misbehaving and bothering those around them.

I think most if us would have had on ounce of sympathy for the poster being discussed if she had even tried to discipline her children! It's her - oh well they're kids and I can't control them, I don't care if they're bothering others - attitude that has posters upset.

 

[luvsJack]

And I find it sad that there are so many rude parents that don't care or try to manage children that are clearly misbehaving and bothering those around them.

I think most if us would have had on ounce of sympathy for the poster being discussed if she had even tried to discipline her children! It's her - oh well they're kids and I can't control them, I don't care if they're bothering others - attitude that has posters upset.

That is not what she said. She said that she did care if they were bothering others and she said that she apologized.

No where did she say that she didn't care or that she didn't try to manage them.

For all we know her kids aren't doing anything particularly wrong, she is just worrying about it. I used to do that when my sons were little. People would say "quit worrying, they are fine" and I would realize that I was making more of a scene trying to make them be "perfect" than they were making in their behavior. Sometimes you really do just have to chill out and let a kid be a kid (within reason, of course)

Wasn't she the one that said she put the kids in the car to play and backed the car up to the place? Or was that someone else?

 

[Poohforyou]

This qualifies as a big deal to you? An 8-year-old boy running around in a laundromat?

Geez louise. I'd like all these "my kids never did THAT" to look w-a-y back into their own childhoods.

I can look way back into my own childhood and tell you I probably wouldn't be here if I behaved like that. My mom is a retired teacher. She knew how to keep 4 of us in line and make us sorry if we didn't behave.

I'm fortunate to be blessed with an easy going, well behaved child and my own washer/dryer. Dd has had her moments though and I've had to cut essential errands like grocery shopping short. All that poster would have had to say was sometimes my kids get rowdy but I do my best to get them under control as quickly as possible. It's the "too bad so sad" attitude that is ticking some of us off.

 

[crazyme5kids]

But I'm sure there were times where you made mistakes or the wrong decisions in regards to your children and their discipline. I think you are being way too judgmental based on a few things that poster said (or what she didn't say that she does), and I'm sure we all could do the same based on things you have said/done.
Nobody is perfect and unless you are following that poster around 24/7 and have intimate details about the way she raises her family your comment about being lazy is just an assumption and just plain rude.
And your posts in this thread come off holier than thou.

Oh come on, don't you know this is the Dis, the place of perfect parenting and perfect children? If I were to base and make assumptions about some posters on this thread (and other threads), I could say I get the feeling that they are abusive parents. However, as you stated, how could I possibly know if they are or not, based on post on an Internet forum.


Personally, if I were sitting in the laundromat and saw a kid running back and forth a few times and then saw a grown ADULT deliberately push a cart into the isle to make a child stop running, well, I'd wonder more about what the hell is wrong with the nasty adult than the kid and his/her parent.

 

[Christine]

I can look way back into my own childhood and tell you I probably wouldn't be here if I behaved like that. My mom is a retired teacher. She knew how to keep 4 of us in line and make us sorry if we didn't behave.

I'm fortunate to be blessed with an easy going, well behaved child and my own washer/dryer. Dd has had her moments though and I've had to cut essential errands like grocery shopping short. All that poster would have had to say was sometimes my kids get rowdy but I do my best to get them under control as quickly as possible. It's the "too bad so sad" attitude that is ticking some of us off.

Just curious: what would your mom have done to you guys if you acted up? I wonder about this. I was one of those "perfect" kids that sat in a chair or on a blanket and never acted up. My mom says she was lucky and it was very easy for her to manipulate or redirect me. I never got to experience the old "back in the day" discipline because I didn't need it. I just wonder what your mom would have done and, would that be "acceptable" by today's parents.

Secondly, I have two kids and neither one of them were good at sitting still. My DH has ADHD and both my kids got some variation of it. They, fortunately, never exhibited true behavioral problems but definitely they were unable to sit for long periods quietly. They were also moving around a lot. I could have never done a 2 hour laundromat stint with them. I know that so they would not have gone. I don't know what I would have done if I had to. I am sure there would have been a lot of correcting on my part and it would have been stressful. I had attempted to take both my kids out to dinner when they were in the 2-4 y/o range and I was mortified so they never went until they were about 8-10 years old.

 

[Kimberlyann11]

Just curious: what would your mom have done to you guys if you acted up? I wonder about this. I was one of those "perfect" kids that sat in a chair or on a blanket and never acted up. My mom says she was lucky and it was very easy for her to manipulate or redirect me. I never got to experience the old "back in the day" discipline because I didn't need it. I just wonder what your mom would have done and, would that be "acceptable" by today's parents.

Secondly, I have two kids and neither one of them were good at sitting still. My DH has ADHD and both my kids got some variation of it. They, fortunately, never exhibited true behavioral problems but definitely they were unable to sit for long periods quietly. They were also moving around a lot. I could have never done a 2 hour laundromat stint with them. I know that so they would not have gone. I don't know what I would have done if I had to. I am sure there would have been a lot of correcting on my part and it would have been stressful. I had attempted to take both my kids out to dinner when they were in the 2-4 y/o range and I was mortified so they never went until they were about 8-10 years old.

I'm not the PP that you are asking, but I can tell that my mom would have first given me "the look". "The look" terrified the crap out of me. If that didn't work I would have gotten grabbed by the wrist, taken outside and told in no uncertain terms how horrible my behavior was and how I was expected to behave. My mom never laid a hand on me. She didn't believe in corporal punishment at all - but she believed in well-behaved kids. I was a pretty easy kid though. I loved to read and books would keep me busy for hours. I was reading very young so she had that option even when I was very little I remember once when I was naughty in public she made me sit on a stool in the middle of the kitchen by myself while she did housework. Kind of like a time-out. It was probably longer than the recommended time-out length, but it wasn't very long - she did some dishes and swept the floor and then I was done too. I didn't like sitting there and it was a deterrent.

I was fortunate that my daughter was easy-going and it wasn't in her nature to run around public places. I'm not a perfect parent, it's just the luck of the draw. She was very easily amused with small electronics - a gameboy or DS keeps her occupied for hours. Still.

 

[Poohforyou]

Just curious: what would your mom have done to you guys if you acted up? I wonder about this. I was one of those "perfect" kids that sat in a chair or on a blanket and never acted up. My mom says she was lucky and it was very easy for her to manipulate or redirect me. I never got to experience the old "back in the day" discipline because I didn't need it. I just wonder what your mom would have done and, would that be "acceptable" by today's parents.

Secondly, I have two kids and neither one of them were good at sitting still. My DH has ADHD and both my kids got some variation of it. They, fortunately, never exhibited true behavioral problems but definitely they were unable to sit for long periods quietly. They were also moving around a lot. I could have never done a 2 hour laundromat stint with them. I know that so they would not have gone. I don't know what I would have done if I had to. I am sure there would have been a lot of correcting on my part and it would have been stressful. I had attempted to take both my kids out to dinner when they were in the 2-4 y/o range and I was mortified so they never went until they were about 8-10 years old.

My mom never yelled and she didn't spank. She'd use a lot of "I'm really disappointed in you" in her special teacher voice. I don't know if it was the times or what but that made me feel horrible. She also would have make us apologize to anyone we disturbed. That embarrassment alone would have kept me in line.

 

[MSLRAC]

Oh come on, don't you know this is the Dis, the place of perfect parenting and perfect children? If I were to base and make assumptions about some posters on this thread (and other threads), I could say I get the feeling that they are abusive parents. However, as you stated, how could I possibly know if they are or not, based on post on an Internet forum.

Abusive?!? Far from it. It is possible to have well behaved children without abusing them. DH was verbally abused by his mom and physically knocked around by his dad growing up and we've both seen the damage that has done to him. There is no way on this earth that we would do the same thing to our kids.

 

[Hannathy]

they were also very consistent and from the very beginning. There was never any excuse for not behaving and they didn't make excuses for their children they dealt with it. You were expected to behave and it was told to you all the time. At the very beginning any deviation from this was dealt with immediately. They meant what they said. They also thought of their children and didn't do things just for their (parent's) convenience, if at all possible.

They also weren't afraid to administer discipline when needed. They didn't worry about being your friend, they were your parent.

My parents weren't big on physical punishment, not counting toddler hand slaps here, I only remember getting swatted twice in my live once from my dad and once from my mom and I deserved them both times, but you knew the threat was there and they would use it if needed.

Now some parents went to that first but mine didn't. just the look and then the ride home knowing you disappointed them was enough. And they also didn't wait, it was stopped immediately whether it was convenient to them or not.

So by the time you were 8 you were expected to know how to behave because you had been expected from 2 on.


Forgot to say they didn't worry about entertaining you all the time!! you were expected to deal with it and sometimes things in life were boring, to bad. You were also expected to make your own entertainment. Nothing to do, go count cars, look at the clouds, ride your bike, daydream, sit still and twiddle your thumbs!
Somewhere boring didn't matter you still behaved.